thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Its about making memories worth repressing
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
