Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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