i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
