if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
God, I missed his penis.
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