In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
