dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
