i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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