just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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