just tell him i said nine months
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They have beer where we have blood.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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