I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who wears a wallet chain?!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
