hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize