Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
