Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
