her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
