Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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