I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there was a trapeze. enough said
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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