you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Randomize
