My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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