U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
