remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize