so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
