her vagine was all disorganized.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
