he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
All I want is dick and wine.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
