I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize