We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
