Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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