i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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