i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
