I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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