Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
