I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
