Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to calm my uterus...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
