I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your cock deserves a montage
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
