is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
