i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
