brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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