I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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