There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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