just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
