3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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