i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
