dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
3 2 1 whiskey
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
