Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize