He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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