it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
