Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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