Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The Olympian is in my bed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize