what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
