I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
