You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Randomize
