dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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