I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
