U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize