Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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