If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
