I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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