Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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