Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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