My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Randomize
