Having a random hookup so left but love u
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have post one night stand depression
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
