I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
