Define "chronic" masturbator.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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