Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
