I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
