And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
