just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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