i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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