is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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