I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize