You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
