I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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