For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
