I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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