I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
