One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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