we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
