It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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