Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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